Swimming Pools

For Thanksgiving weekend slash October reading week, I decided to visit the fam in my quaint home town in Ottawa. I couldn't wait to make the 5 hour drive back, because every time I come home, it's a glorious couple days of peaceful calm and quiet, on top of the home cooked meals. 

1 day in, and I'm already beginning to notice how much more conscious I'm becoming of my dependency on social media. With peace & quiet comes clarity, and suddenly, I'm aware of my peculiar actions from updating my virtual life, to staying updated on others' virtual lives. 

Wake up, Instagram. Sit down, Snapchat. Stand up, Insta-Snaps. Faded... Faded...

At some point in my young adult life, I became addicted to, not alcohol, but social media. Specifically the Instagram-Snapchat-kind. Maybe 'addiction' is a harsh word, but it's not the movie-type addiction where you end up throwing your life away, cry in desperation, get sent to rehab, then bounce back with some broken pieces left behind. It's the kind that's creepier because you can't see it. Where the effects are hard to notice because they're already somewhat accepted through parodied memes and Buzzfeed "You-Know-You're-When" articles. 

I'm scrolling through my Insta-dashboard and come across some 10 different art directors, creatives, bloggers, and stylists' vibrant posts. TBH, all I gain are underlying feelings of emptiness, a little bit of self-defeat, and an odd sense of online peer-pressure. For someone who started using Instagram as a bank of inspiration, I'm feeling anything but inspired. Seeing the landfills of cool content online, I even start doubting my authenticity.😱 If this is what all the scrolling, liking, and following is actually doing "for" me, how often have I been breaking my own spirit, and bending my attitude to cater others and no longer myself? Day by day, hour by hour, as often as I check my phone? 

Tonight I picked at this question, and kept picking at it until I thought of a way to start turning this addictive dependency to good use. But we're not always fortunate enough for a change of location & scenery to want to sit down and introspect on these things. Sometimes we just go with the flow because thinking too often feels like work. Sometimes social media is the only escape we can afford. But let me just say, in a pool full of un-reality, you're not gonna want to dive in it. Perhaps this Thanksgiving weekend is a chance to ponder that thought.

Still from Kendrick Lamar's 'Swimming Pools (Drank)' music video.